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So there we were, faced with 13 daemons about 70 metres away. Dachmyre’s ambush had been planned well, it was going to take us an awesomely long time to cross that distance, all the while under fire from superior energy blasts. Magical energy blasts… From the techno void daemons.

Dachmyre politely enquires, with a smug visage of satisfaction, what we were all doing in, in light of this new developement. The sound of muttering voices was overshadowed by the unzippering of pants, and the meaty thud of Azirel’s cock hitting the table as he declares that Yes, he has an aura for this, one which allows 36metre movement per turn.

Dachmyre’s eyebrows were by this point twitching.

Immediantly a half - assed plan formed. Ranged combatants would continue exchanging pleasantries while the melee combatants would charge forward thanks to Azirels meaty cock and his aura of speed. So off everyone charged. All except for one person. Sarinna decided she didnt like the plan. She had a plan of her own. She started walking across the park battlezone, and nothing paid her attention the entire time….

Our charge was meet by countercharging daemons, who figured that player characters couldn’t have the monopoly on suicidal behavior. Blizzaron, leader of the Thundercats, who had promptly taken to the sky at the beginning of the set too, was prompty shown why this was a bad idea. Suffice to say the next meaty thud we heard was not the trumping of excellance on to the table, but Iceman on ceracrete.

Maleficarum was busy SOUL BLASTING!! everything in sight, dealing above average damage to our newest aquaitance, Mr. Overlord. Problem with this plan was Mr. Overlord took below average damage and had a remarkable above average ranged attack. Down goes Maleficarum. Remarkable enough, at the end of the round, no players were down. This was entirely due to Narvar’oes healing skills, and nothing to do with the fact that the daemons seemed obsessed with killing NPC’s.

Meanwhile, Sarinna was still walking…

Our midfield battle was not going so well, with Azirel and Sway getting bogged down in combat, with only Showdown being able to break past and head for the Overlord. Courtesy of one of Navar’oe jail breaking tricks, they were all blinded for long enough to put them out of the picture.

By this point, Sarinna had stopped walking and started chanting….

With a mighty blast of magic, the ritual was complete, and where Sarinna stood, there now was daemon. Rather a lot of daemon, so much daemon in fact that the other daemons had to stop and think who was the boss again. Immediantly trouncing occurred. The word is trounced because thats what happened. The bad daemons failed on Sarinna ineffectively for a bit. She just stomped on them then went looking for her next target…

Azirel….

Azirel was cleaning his sword just after dispatching his last daemon fiend was preparing to follow in Sway’s steps and charge the Overlord and his ranged minions, when a shadow … a shadow like no other loomed, mightly clawed fist raising to strike. Declaring “Block” Azirel again flopped it back onto the table, pulling from his ass ANOTHER aura for just such an occasion as when an 8 meter tall daemons starts beating on you. Because this happens all the time in the games we play..

Dachmyre’s eyebrows by this point were threatening to climb off his face.

Luckily for Azirel, not so much for Sarinna, the last two unengaged daemons began firing repeated energy blasts into Sarinna, eventually felling her… eventually being the key word. While this was going on, Sway had joined Showdown in fighting the now none blinded and very much aware daemons. A massive fray developed between them. One of the daemons, blessed by the gods managed to get a lucky blow on Showdown, temporarily stunning him and forcing him to drop his sword..

Did I say his sword. Im sorry my bad. I should say THE SWORD. In capitals. Excalibur had nothing on this baby. But now, the impact of the statement that led to this whole rant surfaced.

Never let another player look at your character sheet.

Sway knew THE SWORD was awesome, and forgetting about the enemies immediantly made for the sword. Showdown, shaken off his stun went for the sword as well. Thus began the most ridiculous series of armed parry/disarm combat manuevers I’ve ever seen in a game. Daemons forgotten, it was like a slightly lethal game of pass the parcel. Blizzaron by this point had recovered and with the aid of, well just about everyone was engaging the Overlord, who was busy trying to beat Azirel to a bloody pulp. This wasn’t going well however, as Azirel had just made the important discovery that what works well on an 8 meter tall daemon works extremely fucking well against a 3 meter tall one.

The eyebrows continued their ascent upwards.

WIth the combined weight of firepower from Blizzaron, Maleficarum and our important NPC’s, we managed to down the Overlord and the last of the daemons. It was at this point that SHowdowns body hit the floor, and Sway, sweeping up the sword ran manically off the platform screaming something about taking over the world.

Wait.. what?

Thus concluded our first extended combat session. The above took us 6 hours to complete.